Great new work-out video

Plan of action

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.

Guess Who I Am?

• I was born in one country, raised in another. My father was born in another country. I was not his only child. He fathered several children with numerous women.
• I became very close to my mother, as my father showed no interest in me. My mother died at an early age from cancer.
• Later in life, questions arose over my real name.
• My birth records were sketchy and no one was able to produce a legitimate, reliable birth certificate.
• I grew up practicing one faith but converted to Christianity, as it was widely accepted in my country, but I practiced non-traditional beliefs and didn't follow Christianity, except in the public eye under scrutiny.
• I worked and lived among lower-class people as a young adult, disguising myself as someone who really cared about them.
• That was before I decided it was time to get serious about my life and I embarked on a new career.
• I wrote a book about my struggles growing up. It was clear to those who read my memoirs that I had difficulties accepting that my father abandoned me as a child.
• I became active in local politics in my 30s then with help behind the scenes, I literally burst onto the scene as a candidate for national office in my 40s. They said I had a golden tongue and could talk anyone into anything. That reinforced my conceit.
• I had a virtually non-existent resume, little work history, and no experience in leading a single organization. Yet I was a powerful speaker and citizens were drawn to me as though I were a magnet and they were small roofing tacks.
• I drew incredibly large crowds during my public appearances. This bolstered my ego.
• At first, my political campaign focused on my country's foreign policy ... I was very critical of my country in the last war and seized every opportunity to bash my country.
• But what launched my rise to national prominence were my views on the country's economy. I announced that I had a really good plan on how we could do better and every poor person would be fed and housed for free.
• I knew which group was responsible for getting us into this mess. It was the free market, banks, and corporations. I decided to start making citizens hate them and if they were envious of others who did well, the plan was clinched tight.
• I called mine "A People's Campaign" and that sounded good to all people.
• I was the surprise candidate because I emerged from outside the traditional path of politics and was able to gain widespread popular support.
• I knew that, if I merely offered the people 'hope,' together we could change our country and the world.
• So, I started to make my speeches sound like they were on behalf of the downtrodden, poor, ignorant to include "persecuted minorities" like the Jews. My true views were not widely known and I needed to keep them unknown, until after I became my nation's leader.
• I had to carefully guard reality, as anybody could have easily found out what I really believed, if they had simply read my writings and examined those people I associated with.
• I'm glad they didn't. Then I became the most powerful man in the world. And the world learned the truth.

Who am I?

Answer: ADOLF HITLER

(Who did YOU think it was?)

Da soop kichen

Recently Michelle Obama went to serve food to the homeless at a government funded soup kitchen.

Cost of a bowl of soup at homeless shelter: $0.00 dollars

Having Michelle Obama Serve you your soup: $0.00 dollars

A picture of a homeless person receiving a free, government-funded meal while taking a picture of the first lady using his $500 Blackberry cell phone: $$$$ Priceless

Comparing our deities

Q: What do Barack Obama and God have in common?

A: Neither has a birth certificate.

Q: What's the biggest difference between Obama and God?

A: God doesn't think he's Obama.

Toddler property laws

1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my hands, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks just like mine, it's mine.
8. If I think it's mine, it's mine.

(This goes out to Malcolm Smith and the Democrat Party in the New York state senate.)

Don't drink and drive

There was this party in the woods and all of a sudden there was a down pour of thunder and rain. These two young men ran for about 10 minutes in the pouring rain, finally reaching their car just as the rain let up. They jumped in the car, started it up and headed down the road, laughing and, of course, still drinking one beer after the other.

All of a sudden an old man's face appeared in the passenger window and tapped lightly on the window! The passenger man screamed out, "eeeeekkk! Look at my window!!! There's an old guy's face there!" (Was this a ghost?!?!?!?) This old man kept knocking, so the driver said "well open the window a little and ask him what he wants!" So the other passenger rolled his window down part way and said, scared out of his wits, "What do you want???" The old man sofly replied, "Do you have any tobacco?" The passenger , terrified, looked at the driver and said, "He wants tobacco!" "Well offer him a cigarette! HURRY!!" the driver replies. So he fumbles around with the pack and hands the old man a cigarette and yells "Step on it!!!" rolling up the window in terror.

Now going about 80 miles an hour, they calm down and they start laughing again, and the passenger says, "What do you think of that?" The driver says, "I don't know? How could that be? I am going pretty fast?" Then all of a sudden AGAIN there is a knock on the window and there is the old man again. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaah, there he is again!", the passenger yells. "Well, see what he wants now!" yells back the driver. He rolls down the window a little ways and shakely says "Yes?" "Do you have a light?" the old man quietly asks.

The driver throws a lighter out the window at him and rolls up the window and yells, "STEP ON IT!" They are now going about 100 miles an hour and still guzzling beer, trying to forget what they had just seen and heard, when all of a sudden again there is more knocking! "Oh my God! HE'S BACK!" He rolls down the window and screams out, "WHAT IS IT?" in stark fear.

The old man gently replies, "You want some help getting out of the mud?"